Gather round people. We want to welcome Miss Medway Massachussets back into the fold! She has been among the missing for a while, but now she has returned. Let's all give her a hearty round of applause for her stealthy, stalking ways! Anyone for a rousing chorus of Kumbaya?
In other news, the littlest Poodle boy
continues to heal. He had his stitches out last week and was cleared for leash walking. However, we have not yet been given the clearance to return to Rally training, so we recruited a last minute stand- in for the new session.Trevor.
He was not advised of this development beforehand. We just grabbed a bucketful of Liver and dumped him into the car. He didn't really have time to study the signs.
Or take his Ritalin.
So, for your entertainment and my embarrassment, I will take you through our training session last evening. From both my point of view, and Trevor's. My actual words are in bold. The rest are just the thoughts racing through our respective heads during the session.
We enter the training room. Me, my Mother and Trevor. We are greeted by our trainer, Linda. There are 2 other new teams. One is a woman with a Bernese Mountain Dog, and another woman with a small, scruffy looking dog. The generic version. Neither have any prior Rally experience. Even though I have had 2 six-week sessions worth of training, we begin at the beginning as Trevor only knows Agility. And in Agility, the dog has to be trained to work AWAY from the owner. They have to move out to do the obstacles. In Rally, the dog primarily needs to be at the owner's side. So I knew this would be a new way of thinking for Trevor.
We get ourselves settled and make our introductions. Trevor is clearly nervous. His ears are back, his tail is still. He is eying the Berner suspiciously. Since he lives with all little dogs, he views other large dogs as vicious curs and avoids them accordingly.
Our trainer preps us for a few minutes, has us walk the course without our dogs and then the show begins. She calls Trevor and me up as first team.
This is where it all began to take a left turn into entertainment vs. sport:
Me: Hmmmmmm. Mkay. We should be able to do this. I mean, I've done courses like this with Willie. How much different could it be? " Okay, ready Trev?"
Trevor: What the hell???? What is this?? Where is the teeter and the A-Frame? Hey, you up there, don't you realize we're in the wrong place? I better get outta here!
Me: "Trev. Trev. Watch me! Are you ready?" What the hell has gotten into him? He looks like he's gonna run off any sec.......... "Trevor! With me. Now, let's go!"
Trevor: OK, I get it. We're supposed to WALK! Why didn't she just say heel? Maybe because she's a moron. She thinks I have to come to a special school to walk. Man, does she ever need some training. What??? Wait.....where are you going???? Why are you turning around and around those cones? Hey, those cones are kinda cute. I should stop and sniff them. Yep, I should probably sit right here and sniff them nice and deep. They smell like Jack Russell mixed with Pit Bull. What???? Oh, we're still supposed to be walking?
Me: "Trev! Leave it". What in hell is so interesting about those stupid cones? "C'mon Trev. With me. Over here". Oh no, we have to take a sharp left. How am I going to keep from running into hi........."Ooops. Sorry Trev" Let's keep going. Maybe no one noticed. "Trev. Sit. Sit Trev. Trevor, SIT" Shit, he won't sit. What's he looking at? Why won't he sit? Do I get disqualified if I bump his butt to make him sit? Remember you have to keep your tone cheerful. Rally training is supposed to be all about fun. "Trev. SIT" Oh, thank god he sat. Lemme give him some treats for that. "Okay, let's go"
Trevor: What is wrong with this chick? Walk, stop, sit, get up, with me, watch me. I DO NOT think this is Agility. I wish she would just make up her mind and...............HEY!!!! TREATS!!!!! I LOVE TREATS!!!!!! I need another one. Please. I'll sit nicely. What? I'm supposed to be walking! How's about I lay down? That's always good for a treat!!!
Me: Oh. my. god. He's laying down. Please get me out of here. Why did I think this would be a good idea?
Trevor: Well, if you won't give me a treat for laying down, I know.........I'll whisper!!!! Yes. Whispering. EVERYONE loves that trick!!! Huh, where are we going? Without a treat? But I'm hungry for a treat. I neeeeeeeeeeeeed a treat! I wonder if she brought my ball. I sure do love to play with my ba..................
Me: "Trev...no whispering. C'mon. Let's go. With me" Holy shit. He's actually listening. He's right with me. "Good boy Trev! Nice job paying atten............" Where the heck did he go??? "Trev. Trev. TREVOR! WITH ME!! Yes. Good boy"
Trevor: That's funny to duck behind her that way. Gets her all crazy and then she gives me a treat when I come back. Gotta remember that trick for next time.
Me: Great. He's gotta lay down on this one. He likes that. "Trevor. Wait. Now down!"
Trevor: Wohoooooooo! Down is my favorite. Here I go!!!!
Me: Owwwwwww! What the heck is he doing? He slapped me on the way down!!! Please let me keep from laughing. Please. Oh no, everyone else is laughing at him.
Trevor: Hey. Those ladies liked my spectacular down. I better try it again!!!
Me: "Trevor. UP! UP! Trevor, get up. Let's go"
Trevor: This girl is a killjoy. She is ruining my act. The ladies are loving me. Alright, alright. I'm coming. What? With you again? Okay. Can I have another treat? Did you find my ball? It's yellow. Maybe we should go find it. Over there. In the bag. C'mon, let's go.
Me: Two more obstacles. Thank god. We only have to do a 360 degree circle and then walk slowly to the finish. I can't wait to be done. "Trevor. With me". Please let him turn when I do.
Trevor: Hey!!! Lady. You bumped into me!!! That's not right. I could'a been hurt. I'd better lay down and check myself for injuries.
Me: Oh no. He's laying down again. "Trevor. let's go. Trev? Trevor. What are you doing?" What is he watching?
Trevor: Well, that little dog is cuuuuuuute! I think it's a girl. Maybe she'll like me. I hope she doesn't bite. Biting is scary. WHAT??????? OMG, she barked!! I better hide!!! She might be coming to kill me.
Me: "TREVOR!! TREVOR!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!" Is he behind me????? I think he's trying to hide behind my legs. If he keeps twisting around, we're gonna fall. "TREVOR. SIT! YES. GOOD BOY!!!"
Trevor: I sat. Can I have a treat? It was a good sit. Very pretty. Straight. Can I have a treat now, please? Puleeeeese??
Me: We're done. "C'mon Trev. Good boy"
According to the audience, it was the funniest Rally demonstration they had ever seen. Trevor was even more enthusiastic on the second and third run thru. We used up all the Liver treats, he made friends with a Sheltie by peeking at her through the crook of my arm, and no one was maimed.
All in all, it was a successful first night.
Now please excuse me while I dye my hair, burn off my fingerprints and change my name.
14 c'mon, tell me what you think:
Now you see what I've been going through for the past year. And I was soooo smug when we went 5 for 5 on legs toward titles. Got that RN in 3 shows and 2 legs toward an RA before disaster struck. Cash got scared by a train an hour before ring time and then a creaky dollie carrying six crates of yapping Min Pins passed by as we were to start our turn. He said, "Later" and blew out of the ring. And this at a show that had GORGEOUS title rosettes.
So we get to start this year's humiliation next weekend. Once he has that RA he goes on the back burner while I start and finish Betty.
I have no idea what rally training is but that was pretty funny! Poor Trevor, lol. He really reminds me of Schwartz. Schwartz gets distracted at a blade of grass blowing in the wind and then forget about him even trying to go to the bathroom after something like that rocks his world!
Julie~~~ Oh, I feel for ya girl! I hear your pain!
Lola~~~ For Trevor, the biggest distraction is any type of light pattern. Like when a wristwatch is hit at the right angle by the sun and makes that shining light. He almost goes into a trance!
LOL!! That was hilarious! I know it's not as funny when it is you going through the experience. Been there, done that. Teddy doesn't really love rally, I think he does it for me. It's too much starting and stopping for him. I also think he gets a little miffed when he gets to do a jump and then has to return to heel position- big bummer. Glad to hear that Willie is doing better- poor little guy!
Theo~~ Oh yes, i know you understand! LOL
Too darn funny!
Ruth~~~ Yep. To everyone other than the mortified handler!
That was too funny, I was laughing and my dogs were staring at me:o) I don't have that problem with Chauncey, but Jasmine, she is more like "who can I kiss?', "look how high I can jump from a flat stand?", "but the judge wants me to come see him!" You should write a book!! I have actaully been training her lately so we are going to find out next weekend if she can keep all four on the floor during the class:o)
I am glad to hear that Willie is feeling better. He will be back in rally before you know it.
They do keep you humble don't they?
Oh, Avalon- shades of my Hershey! Does Trevor have some brown roots? LOL! My girl LOVED to please the crowd (as long as the crowd didn't consist of me!)- if anyone clapped or got the giggles, game on! My most harrowing experience was her doing an off lead figure 8- when I halted, she took that opportunity to nudge one of the ring stewards in the crotch, then jump up on her and give her a kiss on the chin. Remember her glorious obedience performance that can be found on my blog! It should make you feel better! (At least let you know that others have experienced your pain! And, on camera at that!)
Speaking of cameras- can we get the next class on video?
Kim~~ They are a LOT of fun. One of the best things about the breed is their sense of humor!
Sherri~~~ That they do!
PB~~~ Sometimes I think he is a brown clown!
I can easily get everything on video. I just still can't figure out how to download the video to my computer! DORK@!
Post a Comment